


I wanna cry and I wanna love (but all my tears have been used up)

by aoliviaw



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, those are the main characters anyway
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-05-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3706889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aoliviaw/pseuds/aoliviaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke just shakes her head at her friend.  She honestly doesn’t know why she is friends with her sometimes, but she loves her anyway.  “Just shut up and go ask your captain if she fancies a trip California.”</p><p>OR</p><p>The one where Clarke needs a fake girlfriend, and for some reason Lexa agrees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 'Fancy a trip to California?'

**Author's Note:**

> I have been thinking about this idea and writing it for about a week now, so let me know what you think.
> 
> Tumblr is theydecidedtocallmefake

“You could always ask Lexa.” Octavia mutters under her breath, and Clarke was going to pretend she didn’t hear it, she really was, but she’s desperate.  So desperate that she is willing to ask a girl that she barely even knows.

“You could ask her for me.” Clarke shrugs her shoulders like it’s nothing and Octavia just looks at her like she has gone completely mad.  “I’m desperate, O.  Please.” Clarke is practically begging at this point.

“Fine, fine.  Only because I know how bad you need this.” Octavia holds her hands up in a surrendering pose.

Clarke smiles and hugs her.  “Have I told you that I love you?”

“Hmmm,” Octavia pulls back.  “You can say that if I actually manage to convince her, and that is a big if.”

“Ah, I know.  But you’ll convince her.  You have the iristiable Blake charm.”

Octavia smirks at that.  “You’d know all about that, what with Bellamy and all.” That earns her a slap on the arm.  “You really don’t know your own strength.” She complains while rubbing the now sore spot.

Clarke just shakes her head at her friend.  She honestly doesn’t know why she is friends with her sometimes, but she loves her anyway.  “Just shut up and go ask your captain if she fancies a trip California.”

Octavia bows to her best friend, which earns her a pillow on the back of the head on her way out.  She just flips her middle finger and closes the door.

Clarke groans when she realises that she has to get up to get the pillow, instead she just lays there, and thinks about the situation she is about to get herself in.  She shakes her head to herself and groans inwardly before she feels her phone buzz

 

**Blakey 19:23: u realise all im gona do is give her ur number, right? ;)**

**Princess 19:24: I didn’t expect anything less.**

 

She smiles to herself.  Honestly, if Octavia wasn’t her best friend she would of killed her by now.

  
\----  
  


Octavia is on her way to practice and all she can think is only her friends would think to do something like this.  And she honestly can’t believe that she is about to do this, she thinks it’s a stupid idea but she would never admit that.  She would never admit that because its for Clarke.  Clarke, her best friend of all her life.  Clarke, who has been through so much these past few years.  Clarke, who just needs her family to get off her back.  She just needs a break from it all.  She knows how overwhelming everything can be for her.  She’s seen the consequences of it all.

She reaches the practice ground and spots her captain straight away, she is always someone that stands out in a crowd, whether because of looks or just her overall presence.  After placing her bag by the bench, she walks up to the girl.

“Good evening Octavia.” The cool manner is always off putting, but Octavia has learnt to see past that now, but she never really put much thought into it.  She knows Lexa isn’t a cold person, she just puts up a wall, a defense mechanism, for some very good reasons.

“Good evening Lexa.” Octavia says back in the same cool manner, she likes to mock her.  It’s fun to see if she can get a reaction out of her friend.  It never really works.  “I have something to talk to you about after practice, if that’s okay?” Lexa nods, never really one for words.  “Okay,” She smiles, before sitting on the floor, tightening her shoes.  “I’ll go warm up.” Octavia stands and runs off into the field.

She runs the laps and stretches to warm up before the whistle blows and everyone crowds around the coach.  And just by the look on the coaches face and the harsh manner in the way she is talking, Octavia can tell exactly the type of practice this is going to be.  She groans inwardly but listens intently, like the good player she is.

 

Practice finishes and Octavia is standing by the bench trying with everything she has to catch her breath when Lexa appears in front of her, looking at her expectantly or worriedly, she can’t really tell.

“You wanted to talk, Octavia?” She says in the same cool manner she normally has and if Lexa wasn’t already her friend, she would think the girl didn’t like her.

Octavia nods and swallows the water that she has in her mouth.  “Yes, yes I did.” She manages to wheeze out.  She takes a breath.  “Sorry.” Shes still trying to catch her breath, asthma, running and soccer don’t always go so well together, but she’s learnt to live with it.  She loves soccer and the freedom she feels on field, she just hates this feeling, the burning in her chest, unable to catch her breath.  It makes her panic.   Lexa just nods again, before grabbing Octavia bag.  After a few moments she pulls out the girls inhaler and hands it to her, without being prompted.  She receives a thumbs up as a thanks.  She shrugs, what kind of captain would she be if she didn’t know about which of her players had asthma or something of the sort.  And really she just likes to help.

After a few minutes of catching her breath, Octavia finally speaks.  “Right, thanks.” She smiles slightly, her lungs are still burning but she feels a hell of a lot better.  The panicky feeling subsiding.  “This is going to sound really weird but, yeah.” She pulls out a folded piece of paper from a pocket in her bag and hands it to Lexa.  All it has on it is a cell phone number.  The girl looks at Octavia confused.  “Right, that is my friend, Clarke’s number.  You remember her from my birthday, right?” Lexa nods, of course Lexa remembers her.  How could anyone forget about Clarke? “Okay good.  Well she needs to talk to you, well ask you a question really.”

Lexa nods, the girl just really likes nodding instead of actually verbalising her response.  “And what is it that she needs to speak to me about?” She is still confused, what could a girl who barely knows her, a girl who has only met her all of five times, give or take, want to speak to her about?  Had she done something to offend the girl that she couldn’t remember?

Octavia chuckles and shakes her head.  “That is something she needs to say, the less involved I am, the better.  Just please do it or at least hear her out, she my best friend.”

Lexa smiles slightly at the girl, probably the most emotion she has ever shown, at least thats how Octavia sees it.  She is rather fond of Octavia, the girl works hard, and she’s smart.  She actually knows how to hold an intellectual conversation, something most people she knows can’t do.  “Okay, for you, I shall get in touch with Clarke.”

Lexa knows its the right decision when she sees Octavia’s face light up.  And after a row of thank you’s, and a reminder from Lexa for her to take a breath, Lexa is really glad that she decided to become friends with the girl.  Or rather, she’s glad that the girl chose her to latch onto.  She also thinks its the right decision because she gets Clarke’s number out of this and a reason to speak to the blonde.  But she wasn’t about to admit that to Octavia.

 

\---  
  


She’s at home, its 10 and Lexa has nothing better to do than decide on whether or  she should text Clarke.  Her fingers start moving before she can stop herself, despite the voice inside her head telling her no.

 

**202-555-0149 10:01: Hello, this is Lexa Heda.  I have been told that you have something you would like to speak to me about.**

 

She presses send before she can stop herself, before she can overthink things.  She is shocked when not even 5 minutes later she receives a reply.

 

**Clarke Griffin 10:05: hey.  yeah, what exactly did octavia tell you?**

**Lexa Heda 10:07: Just that you would like to speak to me.  She kept the details rather vague.**

 

Clarke doesn’t text back for a while and Lexa thinks that maybe she’s fallen asleep.  She yawns.  She’s tired, practice was tough and all she wants to do is sleep.  But then the three little dots appear indicating a message is being written, and suddenly Lexa is wide awake.

 

**Clarke Griffin 10:38: i need a favor, and i no that i dont really no you to ask but im desperate.**

 

This intrigues the girl, what could the girl possibly want?  The three dots appear again.

 

**Clarke Griffin 10:40: it is a lot to ask but im desperate.**

 

She’s repeating herself, so Lexa figures that Clarke might be nervous.  She just really wants to know why now.

 

**Clarke Griffin 10:41: i need a date to a family event.  i was wondering if you would pretend to be my date or my girlfriend.**

 

She reads, then rereads the texts.  Not actually believing what she is reading.  And a little bit is telling her that it is too good to be true.  Even if its fake, is Clarke Griffin really asking her out on a date?  She doesn’t really know what to reply, she’s never really been in this situation.  Actually she has NEVER been in this situation.  All she can think is that she is going to kill Octavia for not giving her a warning about what was to come.

 

**Clarke Griffin 10:46: i shouldnt of asked.  it was a bad idea, ignore what i just said.**

 

She wants to agree, she really does, despite knowing that it’s probably not the best idea.  It’s the last two weeks of the semester before summer and summer means going back home, which means spending time with her family, something she really doesn’t want to think about.  But if she goes with Clarke, she would probably away from home for a bit longer.  And really she’s not changing her plans, she was going to stay in TonDC for a bit after the semester ended, ‘tie up loose ends’ is what she told her parents.  Plus it’s Clarke Griffin.  And Lexa really has a weakness for cute girls.  Cute girls with the name Clarke Griffin.  Though she would never admit that to anyone.  She would never admit that she’s been harbouring a crush on the girl since she first laid eyes on her at a party in honour of Octavia’s birthday.  No.  Lexa Heda doesn’t do crushes or love.  Love is weakness.  That is what she has been told and that is what she believes.

 

**Lexa Heda 10:48: What would the whole plan entail?**

  
And just like the first text, she hits send before she can even think about it.  She has a feeling she’s going to regret this, but at this moment in time she doesn’t really care.  At this moment in time all she can think of is the cute blonde that is Clarke Griffin.   


	2. When all else fails, fake it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they get to know each other and Octavia says the wrong thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally didn't select the multichapter thing when I submitted the last chapter. So yes, this will be a multichapter fic. Let me know what you think. 
> 
> My tumblr is theydecidedtocallmefake.

They decide on meeting up to discuss the details. And that's how Lexa finds herself in a cafe sitting across from the cute blonde.  Not that she is complaining.

"It's three weeks, one party and then the wedding." Clarke shrugs. "It's kind of a family tradition that we have a party two weeks before the wedding." Lexa just nods, and Clarke is kind of surprised that Lexa isn't talking notes, she seems like that type of person.  The type of person that wants to remember everything.  "I just really want my family off my back. I haven't dated in about three years and I really can't be bothered with all the questions."  She shrugs again and Lexa can tell she is nervous by the way she runs her hand through her hair.  “I know it doesn’t seem all that important, and it seems kind of rude, but I need to do this.”

Lexa doesn't really understand this, then again her parents never ask about her dating life, it's always school work and how hard she is working, all pressure, pressure and more pressure to do well, to get somewhere in life.  Well, that's even if they ever talk to her.

"And if anything, you get a free trip to California." Clarke hopes this will convince the girl.

Lexa raises her eyebrows, California?  Really? "Free?" Clarke can’t be serious about this.

Clarke nods, swallowing the coffee in her mouth. "I can't expect you to pay when it's a favour for me.  I'll pay for your ticket, return as well." Lexa is struck by how much thought Clarke has actually put into it. Clarke places her now empty cup down. "Look, I understand if you don't want to, I know it's a big ask, considering I barely know you, but I'm desperate." Clarke looks down, playing with the spoon in the cup, and Lexa can't help but feel sorry for her, she obviously needs to do this for some reason. Sure, she knows that Clarke is holding something back, but she's not going to push, it’s not her place, everyone has things that they hold back.  Everybody has their reasons.  She understands this better than anyone.  Lexa figures if it is important to what they are doing, she’ll be told about it sooner or later.

"Okay." Is all Lexa says, she can’t actually believe that she’s agreeing to this.  She must be out of her mind.  Clarke looks up at her, a question evident in her eyes.  It looks like Clarke is in just as much disbelief as Lexa is.  "I'll do it."

But when Lexa sees a smile pull at the corner of Clarke’s lips, all the disbelief and hesitant feelings fall away.  She believes that Clarke’s smile is payment enough.  She just shakes her head at how cheesy and cliché she’s being.

 

\----

 

They are still there an hour later. Clarke has decided that they need to get to know each other. And Lexa thinks that it's a good idea. It's nothing to do with the fact that she's still sat look at the pretty blonde. Okay, maybe that's not entirely true.

"So you grew up with Octavia?" Lexa isn't really all that surprised. She could tell by the way they acted together that they've known each other for years.  And really, she’s kind of jealous about their relationship.  She’s never really had a best friend.

Clarke nods. "Yeah, we lived next to each other. Our moms are best friends."

"And you just so happen to get into the same college?" This is the only thing that she’s surprised by, two best friends happen to get into the same college.  That must of been great for them.  Must of help them a lot knowing they had someone there for them.  Someone always had their back, even at the beginning.

"Yeah, she got a scholarship, and I've always liked it here." She shrugs. "Our other best friend got a full ride to MIT."

Lexa smiles slightly at this, she's heard all about Raven from Octavia, the party girl that's majorly clever.  She knows Octavia is a hard worker, and looking at Clarke, she guesses that she is as well.  She figures Octavia wouldn’t be friends with any slackers.  "So you're all very intelligent?"

Clarke tries to hide the blush that rises from these words. She shrugs again.  Nerves.  "Them two more so than me."

"I'd beg to differ, what with you being pre-med and all." Clarke blushes even more, Lexa is finding this very entertaining. Plus Clarke is very cute when she is embarrassed.

She clears her throat, and tries to cool herself down, trying to be discrete about the whole thing. "What do you study?"

"Political science." Clarke notes that she seems proud of this, like it’s one of her greatest achievements, she also notes that Lexa is a woman of few words.

"Very serious." Clarke jokes, what Lexa is majoring in definitely suits her.

"Says the girl that is pre-med." This is Lexa's attempt at a joke, and it actually makes Clarke smile.

"And she can actually make a joke, wow." Clarke is pretty sure that Lexa is trying to hide her smile and she is struck by how attractive the girl is.  The angles of her face, something Clarke would love to draw.  Though she is sure that she would never be able to replicate the colour of her green eyes.  Her hands start with that familiar itching, the feeling she gets whenever inspiration strikes.

"Yes Clarke, believe it or not, I do have a sense of humour." And this makes Clarke laugh.

Yeah, she's definitely not regretting asking Lexa.

 

\----

 

They decide that two hours later, there is only so much coffee they can drink. They've discussed a lot. Everything from their upbringings and childhoods to the minor details, like their favourite colours and food they absolutely despise.

Lexa isn’t sure about how much they have left to talk about, but she figures they have two weeks before they actually go to California.  That’s plenty of time to work everything out.

“Right, I think we’ve talked about a lot today.” Clarke comments, it’s as if she can read Lexa’s thoughts, but Lexa knows that’s impossible.  She simply nods in response.  “If you want to ask anything, or even if you change your mind, just text me.” Clarke is giving Lexa an out, she knows that, but Lexa know she isn’t going to use it.  She is actually going to go along with this stupid idea.  And she can’t actually believe she’s doing it.  She pushes the thought that she’s doing this all for a cute girl to the back of her head.  Lexa isn’t like that, she makes her own decisions, they are hers and hers alone.  They are not based around any other person.  They are especially not based around a cute girl.

“I shall keep that in mind if anything should come up.” Clarke just nods.  “Not that anything shall.”  This makes Clarke smile, and Lexa thinks she would do anything to see that smile.  She shakes the thought from her head.  She shouldn’t be thinking like.  She has known the girl properly for all of about five hours.  “Goodbye Clarke.”

“See you later.” They both head in opposite directions.  Both smiling slightly, maybe for different reasons, maybe for the same.  Something they will probably never know.

 

\----

 

When Clarke arrives back at her flat, Octavia is sat in the living room eating a bowl of cereal.  Her boyfriend Lincoln sat next to her.  They’re both staring so intently at the tv screen that Clarke is pretty sure that neither of them have heard her some in.

She’s just about to slip off to her bedroom when Octavia clears her throat and she knows she’s been caught.  She turns around to see her best friend looking at her expectantly and she knows she hasn’t got away with it.  Clarke doesn’t really know what to say so she just shrugs.  “I guess your captain really wanted a free trip to Cali.” That’s all she can think to say, but she knows that Octavia will know what she means, even if Lincoln doesn’t.

Octavia looks shocked for a moment.  “She said yes?” Clarke just nods, while Lincoln looks between them confused.  However, he knows better than to interrupt the two girls when the topic of conversation seems important, much like this one.  He just turns his attention back to the tv.  “I actually didn’t think she’d agree to it.” Octavia gets up from the sofa and walks towards Clarke, who is now leaning against the breakfast bar.

“Neither can I to be fair.  But yeah, she’s agreed to everything.  We’ve just been getting to know each other just now.” Clarke runs a hand through her hair, and for some reason there is a nervous feeling in her stomach.  She brushes it off as hunger.

“To make it seem real when you’re actually there.” Clarke just nods.  Lincoln catches this part, he is intrigued by the two girls and how close they are.  He’s also intrigued by how they can have a conversation that no one else can understand, much like this one again.  “Well at least no one will ask questions anymore.  Maybe no one will even mention him.” As soon as it leaves Octavia’s mouth, she knows she shouldn’t have said anything.  And Lincoln knows that he should stop listening.

Clarke feels her stomach drop, and the all too familiar pain in her chest.  She feels her heart rate speed up, but now she knows how to handle it, how to deal with it, unlike a year ago when the feeling would consume her until she could feel nothing else.  She would feel nothing else for days.  Sometimes even weeks.  But right now, at the the thought of him being forgotten, she hates it.  Right now she feels like she could let the feeling consume her.  But she can’t, she made a promise to everyone, more importantly, she made a promise to herself.

Clarke is brought out of her thoughts when she feels a hand on her forearm.  “I shouldn’t have said that, I’m sorry.”  And Clarke can tell that she really is.

Clarke shakes her head.  “Its fine, I should be used to it by now.”

Octavia gives her a sad expression.  “It’s fine that you’re not.  Everyone is different and you’ve had so much more to deal with.”

Clarke shrugs, she’s heard this so many times in the last three years.  She can feel the tears in her eyes, and how her breathing quickens.  She hates herself for this.  It’s been months since the last time and she hates how a simple sentence can bring all this back.  She’s not going to let herself give in.  She know’s what to do, how to think, she’s been told over and over again.  She takes deep breaths and can slowly feel herself calm down, but sometimes this isn’t enough.  She knows Octavia is giving her a concerned look, but right now that is not her priority.

She excuses herself to her room, Octavia voice calling after her.  She’s not too sure what is said, probably something about she is here if Clarke needs anything.  Clarke knows that she won’t bother her again tonight.

Clarke just lays on her bed, trying her best to keep calm, trying her best to keep her thoughts from that night, trying her best to keep her thoughts from going to him.

She grabs her sketchbook and charcoal from her bedside table, and focuses all her concentration on the lines and shading.  She ignores the fact that the angles and lines are similar to that of a certain girl.

 

\---  
  


Lexa is sat at on her bed, laptop next to her.  She needs to write an email to her mother, but she not too sure what to say, only that it needs to be formal.  Everything is so formal when it comes to her parents.  Especially her mother.  All the email is about is her confirming that she is staying a few extra weeks in TonDC.  Not that her parents really care.  The email will probably go unread.

 

**Mother,**

**I shall be spending a few extra weeks in TonDC, this is to complete my voluntary position.  I shall send you the details of when I will be returning home closer to the time.**

**Lexa.**

 

She presses send and closes her laptop.  She’s passed caring about what her parents will think.  And to be honest, she doesn’t really want to go home.  The idea of being in a formal situation constantly, feels suffocating to her.  And really, why should she go home if no one even wants her there.

She feels a buzz from her phone, and pulls it out from her pocket.  She doesn’t pay any attention to the way her stomach sinks when she sees her sisters name instead of Clarke’s.

 

**Anya 5:34: Shame you’re coming home a few weeks late.**

 

She smiles slightly at the message.  A tiny bit of guilt rising about the fact she was disappointed to see her older sisters name, the only person that has ever really cared about her.  Well her and one other person.  She shakes her head to get rid of these thoughts.  She doesn’t want them.  She just wants to forget about them.

Okay, maybe there is someone that wants her there.  And maybe there is just one reason to return home.  And, if she’s being honest with herself, that one reason is enough.


	3. Tattoos and a kiss.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they get to know each other more. Tattoos and maybe a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As normal let me know what you think. I'm not sure about the ending of this chapter but yeah. 
> 
> My tumblr is theydecidedtocallmefake.tumblr.com

They figure they have to spend time with one another, they have to get comfortable with one another if they’re really going to pull this off.  They have to make sure that the conversation flows, that it actually looks real.  They need to make sure that they can convince others that they are in fact a real couple.

So they spend day after day together of the two weeks before their flight to California, testing each other and telling the other person tidbits of information that comes to mind in the hours they spend together.

“So Octavia is going to be there as well?” Lexa figures she shouldn’t be shocked, they’re attached at the hip.  They grew up together, why wouldn’t Octavia be at Clarke’s aunt’s wedding?  At least she knows she doesn’t have to convince Octavia of this, she doesn’t think she’d be able to do that.

“Yeah, so you can still train and all that.” Clarke smirks.  “You know, keep up being fit and all that.” Despite the confidence that Clarke is trying to portray, Lexa can see right through it.  She’s repeating herself and running her hand through her hair.  She probably picking up on more than she should.  But its because of this Lexa decides to tease the girl.

“Are you calling me fit, Clarke?” Lexa is getting more and more comfortable with the other girl.  That can only be a good thing.

They’re walking through the park and Clarke stops and turns to the girl.  “I am merely making an observation.”

“Yes, I am sure that is all it is.” A smirk pulls at Lexa’s lips, and Clarke is nothing but happy at this.  Every since time they spend time together, Clarke can feel herself get more comfortable, and the conversation seems a lot more real.  Hopefully its convincing.

“Are you teasing me, Lexa Heda?” The other girl just shrugs, but her face says it all.  She is teasing and she is enjoying it.

They fall into a comfortable silence as they carry on walking, neither of them sure where they’re going, be neither of them caring.

“Are tattoo’s something that you need to know?” It was a random thought that occurred to Lexa, and she figures it might be an important piece of information.  Clarke nods, to be perfectly honest, she doesn’t think its all that important, but she really wants to know about the tattoos that Lexa has.  “I have one on my arm and one on my back.”

Clarke nods and waits to see if Lexa is going to continue.  She doesn’t.  “Care to share what they are?”

Lexa sighs.  “They’re tribal tattoos.  I got them really as a fuck you to my parents.” Clarke doesn’t know what she is more shocked by, the tribal tattoos or the use of swear words.  She just laughs, though she tries to hide it, not all that well.  “I fail to see what is funny.”

“You just don’t seem like the type of person to have tattoos.” She’s still got the smile on her face.

“And what type of person do you think has tattoos?” She is teasing again, and she hopes that Clarke can see this.

The blonde just shrugs.  “Rebellious types.  You seem the complete opposite.”

“You’d be surprised Clarke, rebellious means different things to different people.” And Clarke doesn’t know if Lexa meant for that to be some profoundly deep thing, but that’s how Clarke takes it.  “Do you have any tattoos?”

Clarke nods.  “I have a Dove on my ribcage and the word ‘Spacewalker’ on my collarbone.” She shrugs and tries to push back the memories these tattoos bring.  She got them so she wouldn’t forget, but truth is, how could she?

Lexa can tell by the way Clarke talks about them, that there is a story behind them both.  “Is there a meaning behind them both?” She realises this is a personal question, but her curiosity got the best of her.

“I, erm,” She clears her throat.  “They’re for someone I used to know.” And at that Lexa realises that is all she is getting.

She nods her head and the silence returns.  And Lexa is sure that it is because of the question she just asked.  She could honestly slap herself.

 

\---  
  


 

They’re sat in the cafe again.  It’s cool and a nice change from the heat outside.  Though the coffee that they’re drinking contradicts this.

“So is there anything that I need to know about your family before I get on the plane in a weeks time?” Lexa figures this is an important question to ask.

“Right, yeah.” Clarke shakes her head and laughs.  Lexa doesn’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing.  “They can be a bit, full on, for lack of better words.”  She smiles, and Lexa can tell that Clarke loves them.  “But they just care a lot.  They want what’s best for me.” She thinks about telling Lexa about everything, but she doesn’t want the pity, the pity that everyone else likes to gives her.  Everyone but Raven, because Raven gets the same pity, she knows how it feels to be changed completely by something.  For your life to change in the blink of an eye.  She can’t tell Lexa.  She won’t tell Lexa.  Not because she doesn’t want to, just because she doesn’t want the pity that comes with the revelation.  She smiles again and tries to hide her thoughts, probably not all that wel,l so she is sure that Lexa can see right through it.  She changes the subject.  Kind of.  “You should meet Raven, she is crazy.  Though I’m sure Octavia has already told you about her.” Lexa nods, and notes the way Clarke’s eyes shine when she mentions the girl, quite similar to the way that Octavia’s shine when she talks about the same girl, though there is a bit of a difference.  

She can see that all the girls are close, a support system of sorts, and Lexa is struck by that jealous feeling once again.  Jealous that she never had that growing up, and jealous about the fact that she still doesn’t have that now.

Lexa pushes these thoughts to the back of her head and tries to smile.  “Well, I can’t wait to meet this girl.  Will I be meeting any of your other friends?”

Clarke nods.  “More than likely.  We go to this lake every year.  It seems like I am going to have to take you with me.” She smiles again before she is struck by a thought.  They have to act like a normal couple, even in front of her friends.  Normal couples are affectionate.  Normal couples kiss.  She’s going to have to kiss Lexa.

“What’s wrong, Clarke?” She notices that the blonde is quiet and hesitant.

“We’re going to have to act like a normal couple.” Lexa nods, she already knew this, she doesn’t understand why Clarke is bringing it up now like it’s news.  “That means affection, that means kissing.” Ahh, there it is.  Lexa has actually already thought of this situation, she was just wondering how long it would take Clarke to figure it out.

“Is this something that would be off putting for you, Clarke?” Her voice is cool, probably the coldest and disengaged she has been all day because she does not know what Clarke is going to say.

But this doesn’t mean she’s not shocked when Clarke shakes her head.  “It won’t be a problem.” She smiles slightly, like she knows that punchline to a joke that Lexa isn’t part of.  She sends Clarke a questioning glance.  “It just means that we have to practice.”  She reaches out and to take Lexa’s hand.  She looks up at the girl who just nods.  It’s permission and Clarke takes Lexa’s hand in her own.  “I guess it’s a start.” Clarke feels Lexa tense and she’s about let go other the other girls hand, but is surprised when Lexa turns her hand over and laces their fingers together.

“Like this?” Lexa asks.  Clarke feels Lexa stroke the back of her hand with her thumb and she figures Lexa is flirting with her.  Something she is definitely surprised about.

“Yeah, erm,” She clears her throat and she can feel a blush rise in her cheeks.  She is lost for words.  “I guess.” She’s looking at the table, and she refuses to look up.  She knows if she does, she will be met with a smirk from Lexa and she really can’t be bothered with that.  She really doesn’t want to see that.  And she really hates being teased by the girl.  But she loves it at the same time.  And she doesn’t understand how that works.

They hear someone else clear their throat and they both look up to see their waitress.  She’s smiling down at them both.  “May I get you ladies anything else?”

They look at each other, both of them have half their coffees left.  They’ve been forgotten about in favour of talking to one another.  Lexa is the one that answers.  “No, we are fine, thank you.”

The girl nods and just before walking off, she says one more thing.  “I hope I’m not overstepping the line here, but I think you two look very cute together.”

The both look at each other again, and their faces turn slightly red.  “Thank you.” Is all Clarke manages to mumble out.  The girl smiles politely at them and leaves them be.

After a few minutes of silence and shock, Clarke just smiles at the other girl.  “I guess we’re better actresses then we give ourselves credit for.”

Lexa nods.  “We might just get away with this, Clarke.”

 

\---  
  


 

They go back to Lexa’s flat after this, choosing hers over Clarkes because her flatmate, Gustus, is out.  They sit on the sofa and Lexa decides that they should watch some films.  Each of their favourite films because she figures that is something that they should know about each other.  They’re halfway through The Breakfast Club, Clarke’s choice, when the blonde pauses it.  Lexa looks at her curiously.

“You know I said about practicing kissing?” Lexa nods.  “Do you think we should do that now?”  She shrugs.  “You know, get used to it and all that.  I mean the first kiss is going to be the most awkward, it always is.”

Lexa smirks at the girl.  It seems that nervous is just Clarke’s default setting.  Well, that seems to be the case around her anyway.  “You know, you could of just kissed me, I might of even kissed back.”  There’s the teasing again, something Clarke is sure she’ll never get used to.  Clarke just picks the pillow up from the side of her and hits Lexa full on in her face.  The girl splutters in shock.  “I will get you back for that.”

Clarke shrugs.  “Try me.” And before Clarke knows it, Lexa connects their lips.  She is still in surprise for a second before she brings her hand to Lexa’s cheek and kisses back.  She ignore the fluttering in her stomach.  And the electric coursing through her veins.  She kind of hopes that Lexa feels the same why, but there is no way in hell she is going to admit that.

When Lexa pulls away there is a smile on her face.  “Was that to your liking?”

Clarke smirkes, she pretends to think for a minute.  “I think it might be something we have to work on.”

She pushes a thought to the back of her head, they are just pretending.  This is just practice and after all this is over, her and Lexa will go back to not knowing each other.  She ignores the way her stomach drops at this thought.


	4. Scary flight and sleepy night.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa may be a tiny bit scared when it comes to flying, and Clarke may be a tiny bit awkward when it comes to sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just let me know what you think.
> 
> Tumblr is theydecidedtocallmefake

They've been sat at their departure gate hours, their flight delayed by 3, when Lexa turns to Clarke. "Would this be a bad time to tell you that I am terrified of flying?"

Clarke tries to hide her smile at this because to be honest, she'd already worked that out by Lexa's shaking, and vice like grip of her hand. She finds it cute. Cute that the cold faced, scary Lexa, who is the ruthless captain of The Grounders soccer team, is scared of planes, is scared of flying.

"You could always take some sleeping pills and knock yourself out for a few hours?" Clarke shrugs before handing her a prescription bottle.  Normally Clarke would never just throw her medicine about, but she figures it’s Lexa, and she’s pretty sure the girl has no idea what these certain meds are for, let alone take any.  She just sees it as a kind of joke.  Probably not the best joke she ever made.

Lexa eyes the bottle curiously. She see the word 'Temazepam' and Clarke's name. The pills are prescribed to her. Why would she need these?  She wants to know the answer, but she thinks it's better to not ask.

She throws the pills back at Clarke. "As a would be doctor, do you recommend that people take pills that are not prescribed to them?"

Clarke looks at her for a minute, studying her face before she answers. "Well no, but I've been on and off these for the better part of three years, I know what they do." She shrugs and places the bottle back in her bag, where Lexa sees another prescription bottle. She's curious, she really is, but even she know that asking Clarke about them is overstepping the line.

Lexa doesn’t think about it for too long because they are soon called to board the plane, and all thoughts about Clarke are gone, replaced with fear.  And Clarke is pretty sure that her hand is broken in at least three different places.

She’s tried everything to calm the other girl.  Everything.  And nothing works.  So Clarke just settles for what she calls the ‘broken hand technique.’  Which only gets worse when the plane takes off.

  
\----

 

They are three hours into their four hour flight and Lexa is asleep and has been for at least two hours, having not really slept the night before.  Nerves and anxiousness keeping her up, plus the thought that the more she slept on the plane, the less scared she would be.  It kind of worked.  Clarke had lifted the arm rest that separated them and told Lexa to lean on her, something she was reluctant to do, but eventually her tiredness made her give in.

Clarke know’s she’ll have to wake Lexa up soon, but the girl looks so cute sleeping on her shoulder.  The normally cold expression is now one of peacefulness, and Clarke doesn’t think the girl could get anymore good looking or cute.  And she kind of has a feeling that Lexa will resent that.

Clarke leaves her to sleep until the seatbelt light blinks back on, and the air hostesses smile at the two of them before telling her it is time to put her tray up.

The blonde is dreading waking the other girl up, she knows that the girl will go right back to being scared and she has only just got the feeling back in her hand.

She gently shakes Lexa, who wakes slowly, blinking her eyes against the light, and just when Clarke thought the other girl couldn’t get any cuter, sleepy Lexa appears, changing Clarke opinion entirely.

Lexa shoots up straight when she realises she is leaning against Clarke, mumbling an apology, even though it was all Clarke’s idea, while running a hand through her hair, trying to sort it out.  It’s not really helping.

She comes round enough to ask Clarke a question.  “We nearly there?”

Clarke nods.  “We’re just about to land.” That is when they hit the turbulence and now Clarke thinks that her hand might be broken in four different places.  Good thing her mother is a doctor.

 

\----

 

They get off the plane and Clarke is just thankful that she no longer has to worry about her hand.  They walk to baggage, collecting their bags a lot easier than they expect, normally it takes what feels like hours.  And just before they’re about to meet Clarke’s mum, Clarke stops.  Lexa just looks at her, confusion spreading across her face.  “You can still back out of this if you want.”   

“No, it’s fine.  Seriously.  Anyway you’d look like an idiot, I bet you’ve told everyone about me already.” She takes the look on Clarke’s face as a yes.  Lexa takes Clarke’s hand in her own and smirks.  “We need to make this look real.” She pulls her lips into a smile and they walk through the doors, and they’re suddenly surrounded by people waiting to meet family, friends or business acquaintances

Clarke spots Abby right away, and she can’t help but smile as her mom walks up to meet them halfway.

Abby pulls Clarke into a tight hug as soon as they meet.  Clarke drops the bags to the floor so she can hug her mother properly.  Lexa can tell that they’ve missed each other.  She feels the jealous feeling spread through her again, she’s never had this kind of relationship with her mom, and sometimes she wishes she did.  Their interactions are always cold and formal, and in recent years have only gotten worse.

“Lexa, this is my mom,” Clarke smiles up at Lexa.  “Mom, this is Lexa.  My girlfriend.”  It feels weird saying that, but some how it’s nice the way it rolls off her tongue.  She shakes her head of that thought.  What the hell was she thinking?

Abby can’t help but smile, the look on her daughters face when she is only saying Lexa’s name.  She likes it when Clarke is happy.  And especially because it’s been about three years since Clarke introduced anyone to her.

Lexa holds her hand out.  “Nice to meet you Mrs Griffin.” She formal, she always is.  That’s just the way she has been brought up.

Abby just looks at her hand, before pulling her into a hug, none of that formal stuff here.  Lexa should have realised that because Clarke is probably the most opposite of formal that you can get.  “Hey, come here.” She pulls away.  “And you can call me Abby.”

Lexa stands awkwardly, she’s not used to the affection that she is being given, really she isn’t used to any affection.  She’s lucky if she gets a ‘hello’ from her parents while she is home.

They start walking out of the airport, Abby and Clarke chatting away.  The jealous feeling strikes up in her again, but the feelings disappear when she feels Clarke squeeze her hand gently.  Okay, maybe this isn’t going to be so bad.  Or that’s what she hopes.

  
\----

 

They arrive at Clarke’s house which is about half an hour from the airport.  It’s a biggish house and Lexa is kind of surprised by this, she never really expected Clarke to be well off.  She doesn’t act like it.  Though, then again, she has never heard her or Octavia complain about money problems.  Although she just assumed that was because they both had part time jobs.  

The first thing Abby does when they get to the house, besides dropping the bags on the floor, is offer them food and something to drink.

“We have everything,” Abby says walking into the kitchen.  “I stocked up when I heard Clarke was bringing someone back.” Lexa smiles at this.  She can tell that Abby is a caring person, a good mother.  It doesn’t really surprise her, considering the older woman is a doctor after all.

“I’m fine, thank you, Mrs Griffin,” Abby cringes at the name, but Lexa was brought up to be respectful, and also formal.  There are just some habits that don’t go away.  “I am just very tired.” She thinks about it for a moment, she realises that maybe the way she said that could be considered rude.  “I’m sorry if that came across as unpolite.”

Clarke shakes her head, snaking an arm around the slightly taller girl’s waist, before placing a kiss on her cheek.  She tries to make it look the least awkward as she can.  “How about I take you up to my room?” She looks at her phone for the time, noting that she has a message from Octavia.  “It’s 3, so you can nap and I’ll unpack for us.” Lexa nods.  She’s still trying to get used to the affection, but she supposes there are worse people she could receive it from then Clarke Griffin.

They make their way up to the room, a room that hasn’t changed since Clarke moved out the summer after high school.

The room is big, with a double bed in the corner and a desk by the window.  There are film posters on the wall, some films that Lexa has never heard of, plus skeleton and muscle posters with all the names.  Yeah, Lexa is not surprised by this at all.

“So, always wanted to be a doctor?” She eyes the posters before looking back at Clarke.

“On and off, summer before senior year really cemented it.” Clarke smiles sadly and Lexa really wants to ask why she wants to be a doctor, there is obviously some reason behind it, but again she feels like she can’t, she doesn’t know the girl well enough just yet.  Clarke clears her throat and sits on the edge of her bed.  “Right, you can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the floor while we’re here.”

Lexa just shakes her head.  “You realise we actually have to share the bed, like in case your mother walks in.”

Lexa can see the light go off in Clarke’s head.  “Yeah, I didn’t think about that.” She mumbles to herself.  Lexa just smiles before yawning, which reminds Clarke.  “Right, you have a nap, I’ll sort everything out.” Lexa doesn’t say anything to that, she just climbs into bed and closes her eyes.

Clarke uses this time to check her messages, also to distract herself from just staring at the other girl.

 

**Blakey 2:34: Hope u got back alright princess.  I’ll b there tomorrow morning :)**

**Princess 3:07: Good to no, I’ll let mum n ray no.**

 

She smiles when she sees Lexa has fallen asleep before slipping out of the room to call Raven.  She picks up on first ring, of course.

_“Princess, good to hear from you.”_

She hates the nickname, really hates it, but Raven and Octavia can get away with it, they can get away with anything when it comes to her.  “I’m back, so come get your arse up here.”

She hears Raven laugh and smiles at the sound.  It’s one of her favourites.  

_“I’ll be there in the morning.”_ Clarke honestly can’t wait.   _“Plus I get to see your new girl.”_

A feeling a guilt fills her, she wants to tell Raven, but she can’t.  The less people that know, the better.  But Octavia knows, and she knows how hurt Raven will be when she finds out she lied to her.  She thinks for a second, she’ll give it a week, see how it goes and maybe tell her then.

“Yeah, and I really think you’ll like her.”  She thinks of how Raven and Lexa are complete opposites.  It might take a while, but they will get on, she’ll make sure of it.  And Raven has always had her way with people.  She could charm the pants off anyone.  And she always seems to put that theory to the test.

_“Good.  As long as she’s treating the princess good, that’s all I care about.”_

Clarke smiles, of course all she wants for her.  It’s all the three girls want for each other.  “Octavia told me to tell you she’ll be here tomorrow.”

_“And she couldn’t tell me herself, why?”_

Clarke shrugs even though she knows Raven can’t see her.  “Ask her, I have no idea.”

The banter back and forth for a while, the first real catch up they’ve had in a while.  Clarke is sat in the corridor, her back against the wall, her legs stretched out in front her.

She doesn’t realises how long she is on the phone until Lexa opens the door, a sleepy look on her face and her hair in a messy side plait.

Clarke smiles at how cute she looks, distracted for a second by the girl in front of her.  She decides that sleepy Lexa is her favourite.  She gets her concentration back when she can hear Raven shouting down the phone at her.  

_“Wow, you suddenly get a girlfriend and I get ignored, wow.  Nice one princess.”_

Clarke tries to ignore the way Lexa smirks at this.  “Shut up, I’m going now.  I’ll see you in the morning.”

_“Yeah yeah, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”_ And with that she put the phone down.

“She hung up on me.” Clarke looks between the phone and the other girl, a mock look of anger on her face.  Lexa just smiles at her.  At this Clarke decides that she is going to make the girl laugh at some point in these three weeks.  And not just a chuckle, but a full on laugh.

Lexa sits down next to Clarke, who just looks over at her, wait for her to say something.  “I’m hungry now.  Do you think we can get some food?”

Clarke smiles and nods.  She stands up first before reaching out for Lexa to take her hand.   “Come on then, Lex.” They both figure they better get used to nicknames.

  
\----

 

Of course when the time comes to go to bed, everything is awkward.  And Clarke starts thinking that maybe she should have put more thought into this part, because sharing a bed with a girl she barely knows feels… Well awkward, for lack of better word.

“Why did I not think of this?” Clarke mumbles to herself.  Lexa shoots her a look from the bathroom, where she stands brushing her teeth, not quite hearing Clarke.  The blonde just shakes her head.  “Which side would you like to sleep on?”

“I am fine with whatever you are Clarke.” So Clarke just decides to climb into bed, sleeping next to the wall.  Not her normal side, but she can’t think of it any other way.  The last time she had someone else in this bed was him, and he slept here.  

She shakes her head, she doesn’t need these thoughts and she doesn’t need, doesn’t want to feel this way in front of Lexa.  She can’t, she knows all she’ll get is pity, and it’ll probably scare the girl away.

She closes her eyes and faces the wall, feeling a dip in the mattress when Lexa climbs in after her.  She hears a soft ‘goodnight’ from Lexa before everything falls silent, apart from their breathing.

 

 


	5. The one with Raven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa meets Raven for the first time, and she's slightly scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure about this one, tell me what you think.
> 
> Tumblr is theydecidedtocallmefake. You can ask me any questions there if you want.

Of course when Raven said she’d be there in the morning, she meant 9 in the morning.  And of course Clarke should have expected it, she just didn’t think.

So when Raven bursts into her bedroom yelling ‘morning bitches’, Clarke isn’t all that surprised.  She just wishes that Raven could have at least give Lexa a better first impression of herself.

“Raven, its nine.  Go away.” Clarke groans into her pillow, she turns and feels Lexa snuggling closer into her.  She smiles.

Raven fake gags at the two of them, walking over to the desk and sitting down.  She adjusts her brace slightly, Clarke just ignores the feeling she gets when she sees this.  Its so easy to forget, but sometimes it not.  The brunette leans back in the chair and crosses her arms over her chest.  “Would now be a good time to meet the princess’ new girl?” She doesn’t give a damn about first impressions.

“No Raven, fuck off.” Clarke all but shouts at her best friend, which just earns her a smirk.

“Wow, that’s how you treat your best friend after months of not seeing her?” She places a hand over her chest and pouts.  “Wow princess, I’m offended.” This earns her a perfectly aimed pillow at her head.  “Uncalled for.” She says, but when she sees Clarke gearing up to throw a stuffed animal as her she raises her hands in surrender.  “Okay.  I’ll go annoy Abby for a bit.”

She pushes herself up and leaves the room with just as much noise as when she entered.  That’s Raven for you.

Lexa looks up at Clarke who smiles down at her apologetically.  “So you just met Raven.”

“I kind of got that and she is kind of interesting.” She nods, pushing herself to sit up, and letting out a yawn.  A t shirt rides up a bit and it takes all Clarke can do to keep her eyes trained on Lexa’s face.

“And she is probably going to be spending the whole day with us.  I’m sorry in advance.”

“You do not have to apologise for your friends Clarke.”

Clarke smiles and nods, there is an awkward silence in the air and neither of them have any idea about what to do with it.  Clarke sits there, eyes on her hands.

Lexa coughs slightly and breaks the tension.  “Would I be able to get a shower?”

“Of course, yeah.” Clarke says a bit too fast while pushing herself to the bottom of the bed, the only way to get out without climbing over Lexa.  She reaches into a cupboard above her wardrobe and pulls out a towel.  “Take your time, I’ll be downstairs, if you need anything.” She places the towel on the desk chair, and walks out the room, closing the door behind her.

 

\----

 

About an hour later Lexa enters the kitchen.  Clarke and her mom have massive grins on their faces and by the smug grin on Raven’s, Lexa guesses that she is the reason behind it.  Lexa hates the feeling that she tries to suppress.  She hates that she feels like this at all.  Like she’s missing out.  She’s never felt like this before.  She has Anya, surely that should be enough.  But it just reminds her of Costia, and how much she is actually missing out on.  Even if Clarke doesn’t have siblings, she can tell that with Raven and Octavia she has more than enough.

Raven is the first to notice her.  She stands and walks over to her, hand out in front of her.  “You must be Lexa?” The girl just nods, taking Raven’s hand.  “Not one for talking, I see.” Raven just shrugs and smirks.  Lexa makes a note to herself that this seems to be the girls resting face.

“Raven, leave her alone.” Raven throws a glare at her best friend.  “You’ve traumatised her enough this morning.”

“Hey, I was just giving her a taste of what is to come over the next three weeks.”

“Very reassuring.” Lexa says under her breath, causing Raven to turn back towards her.  Lexa doesn’t know what to expect as Raven’s reaction, but it certainly isn’t the one she gets.

The girl smiles and shakes her head.  “I think I’m going to like you Lexa, now come.  Take a seat.”

Lexa sits down next to Clarke, who kisses her on the cheek as a greeting.  She gets a good morning off of Abby, before she excuses herself, saying she needs to get to work, but will be back in time for dinner.

That just leaves the three of them in the kitchen.  And Lexa is nervous, though she’d never admit that to anyone.  She’s nervous because she is unsure about whether or not they will be able to pull this off.  And she’s nervous about anyone finding out.

She’s eating her cereal while Clarke and Raven have a conversation over her.  Or argument rather, over who is picking Octavia up with Bellamy.  And Lexa is beginning to see why they are best friends.  They are both as bad as one another.

“You see her everyday.  I am going to pick her up.” And Raven refuses to comment after that, which is how Clarke knows she’s lost.

“So Lexa,” Raven takes the seat next to her when Clarke stands to do the washing up.  “What is it you study?”

She should have known that questions where coming up.  At least it is an easy one that she didn’t have to lie about, or stretch the truth, as Clarke liked to put it.

“Political Science.” Lexa leans back in her seat.  “And you?”

The smirk appears back of Raven’s face for no particular reason at all.  Lexa thinks it might be to try and intimidate her.  “Mechanical Engineering.” She runs her hand through her hair, and narrows her eyes.  And really Lexa doesn’t scare easily, but this girl terrifies her.  “Pleasantries over, what are your intentions with Clarke?”

The blonde catches onto the conversation at the mention of her name.  She turns from the sink where she is washing up.  “You don’t have to answer that babe, ignore her.” She gives Lexa a smile, before glaring at Raven.  “Stop trying to scare my girlfriend.”  It comes out naturally.

Raven holds her hands up again and leans back.  “I’m just making sure she is right for my best friend.  God, I can never win.”

Clarke scoffs, and Lexa has a feeling this is a conversation the girls have had many times before.  “We both know when Octavia gets here you’ll have her wrapped around your little finger, and it will be me that is unable to win.” She dries her hands on the towel before moving over to the table.  She nods her head at Lexa, a question, asking if she is okay to sit on her lap.  Lexa nods once, and Clarke sits.  The brunettes hands snake around Clarke waist and she is surprised by how comfortable she feels in this situation.  “Let me enjoy my winning situation before Tweedle Dum gets here.” Clarke finishes.  And maybe to Clarke there is a double meaning to that, but she doesn’t think about it.

Raven frowns at this, and Clarke realises she shouldn’t of brought it up.  But Raven is over it before she can say anything else.  Honestly the girl could give Clarke whiplash.

Raven picks up the prescription bottles that are on that side and eyes them curiously.  There might be other things Clarke isn’t telling Raven and she feels the guilt spread through her again.

Clarke feels a tap on her side, so she looks down at Lexa.  “Can you excuse me?  I need the toilet.” The blonde jumps off her and as soon as the other girl is out of the room, Raven all but corners Clarke.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were back on these?” And when Clarke doesn’t answer she raises an eyebrow.  “We tell each other everything.  Especially about this, it’s always been part of the deal.”

Clarke looks down at her hands.  “It’s only recent.  Things when to shit again a few months, I was going to tell you, but you have your own stuff to deal with.”

“But that’s why we tell each other, burden each other.” Raven shakes her head, she can’t really get angry, what she feels might be similar to her best friend, but it’s definitely not the same.

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

Raven just takes Clarke's hands in her own.  “Don’t be, there is nothing to be sorry about.”

“It was his birthday and I don’t know what hit me, just everything.” She’s not sure how to explain it.  That’s the thing about this, about the anxiety, about the flashbacks.  Her mouth is literally, physically unable to form the words.  Everything comes out in chunks, in bits and pieces, and she is never really able to fully explain herself.  It's frustrating and in all honesty, she hates it, because she means that she is never able to get how she feels off her chest.  It makes her feel completely alone in the situation.  Even when she has her two best friends right besides her, every step of the way.

She straightens herself up and tries to wipe her eyes discreetly when she hears the door open behind her.  And Raven doesn’t bring it up again.

An if Lexa notices anything about the situation, she doesn't say anything, she just goes straight into asking Raven about her plans for the summer.

 

\----

 

The day goes quite fast to all of their surprise and before they know it, Raven has to leave to go pick Octavia up.  She throws a goodbye to them both and a smirk at Lexa before she leaves, and in all honesty, Lexa is confused and slightly scared of the girl.  And she has no idea why.

“She likes you.” Clarke comments when she sees the face that Lexa pulls when Raven leaves.  “Which is feat because never likes anyone that me and Octavia date.  Especially Octavia.” She shrugs.  “Good thing Lincoln isn’t coming.”

“Why isn’t he coming?”

“Some work thing.  I’m not sure, you’ll have to ask Octavia that when she gets here.” She shrugs before turning to the tv.  They had put a film on when Raven was there, and none of them watched it, so Lexa has no idea what is going on.

“How do you know Raven likes me?  Did she say something?” She confused by this, how could Clarke tell, because from what Lexa could tell, the girl didn't like her whatsoever.

“She just does.  She asked you questions, like proper questions.  Not just about me, but about yourself.  She never does that, you should count yourself lucky.” Clarke smiles at the girl and squeezes her hand.  “Just wait until you meet the rest of them.  You won’t know what’s hit you.”

And Lexa doesn't say anything when Clarke leave her hand on hers.

 

\----

 

Octavia isn’t exactly happy that she has to get a flight by herself.  That she has to spend four hours in a tin can with only herself as company, but that feeling goes away as soon as she feels the plane wheels touch the floor and she reads a text from Raven saying she is there.  That feeling goes away as soon as she walks through the doors and sees Raven stood there, a sign saying ‘Congrat on completing rehab’ in bright neon yellow.  And of course her brother, who is throwing disgusted looks at Raven, standing five steps behind her.  She smiles at the scene.  She’s really missed being home.

Raven throws her arms around her as soon as she is close enough, whispering ‘welcome home’ in her ear, making her feel like she should come home more often, if just to see Raven and nothing else.

Before she knows it, Bellamy pulls the two girls apart complaining that it’s his go, before picking Octavia up and spinning her round.  And okay, maybe she’d come home to see her big brother as well.


	6. The one with the lake.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is scared of the water, and Lexa might just be the one to get her in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> My tumblr is theydecidedtocallmefake.

Clarke gets a text the next day about meeting up with her friends at the lake.  Of course she agrees, she wants Lexa to meet everyone.  Although, she’s scared that all her friends at once might be a bit overwhelming.

“Right Lex, I hope you brought your bathing suit because we are going to the lake.” She smiles at the other girl who nods her head.  “Everyone is going to be there, just a heads up.”

“Like I said before, I’m sure I’ll love your friends.” She pulls Clarke into a hug as Abby walks into the kitchen.

“You have yet to meet them Lexa.” Abby smirks when Clarke throws her a look. “Oh you know I’m joking.  I love all your friends.”

Clarke shakes her head a her mother before grabbing Lexa by the hand and pulling her up to her bedroom.  “Just grab all the stuff you need, we’re meeting them in about half an hour.”

 

\----

 

They pull up to a relatively large lake, with only a handful of people in and surrounding it.  And of course Clarke is the last one to arrive.  She’s always late.

“I hope we didn’t pull you away from anything important, princess.” Bellamy shouts from the edge of the lake as the two approach, hands interlocked with one another.  She just flips him off with her free hand.  They come to a stop at the place all her friends have placed their towel, most sitting on them.

All her friends are there as she’s so excited to see them.  Clarke squeals as she pulls Monty into a hug before hitting Jasper who is so very nearly trying to hit on Lexa.  Murphy nods his head in her direction, not even bothering to take his sunglasses off or get up to greet her, she expected nothing less, before Harper, Monroe and Maya all pull her into a hug stating how much they have missed her and how much they have to catch up on.  And if Lexa is being honest right now, she’s struggling to remember who is who when it comes to the girls.  But she nods politely when they all introduce themselves, but she squeezes Clarke hand tighter.  New people have never really been her strong suit.

Before long everyone joins Bellamy in the lake and Lexa is glad that Octavia is there.  Someone she knows and some she can latch onto as it seems that Clarke doesn’t want to come anywhere near the water.  She notices this when she and the other girls are just treading water, staying slightly shallow for Raven’s sake.  She sees Clarke sat on one of the docks, sunglasses in place and sketch pad in lap.  She wonders out loud why the girl isn’t in the water.

“She didn’t tell you?” Raven narrows her eyes slightly, but thinks that they must never of been in a situation where Clarke would have to tell Lexa that she is scared of water.

Lexa shakes her head no, before thinking for a minute.  Maybe she might be able to get Clarke into the water.  She tells the girls this before heading over, all five of them wishing her luck on what they think is an impossible task.

 

\----

 

Clarke is sat on the dock, her legs dangling in the water.  She’s never been much of a swimmer, and to be honest, she’s never really liked water.  And her friends have never pushed her to swim, they always just let her do her own thing.

She smiles when she sees her ‘girlfriend’ swim over to her.  It’s been nice for Clarke, seeing Lexa get on well with her friends, seeing how easy she seemed to fit in.  A warm feeling spread through Clarke at the thought of this.  Why?  She couldn’t tell you.

Lexa splashes the blonde when she’s close enough, which earns her a light slap on the arm which are rested on the wooden dock.  Lexa looks up at the girl.  “Why are you not getting in, Clarke?”

She shrugs, she never gets questioned about it, everyone know.  Everyone except Lexa.  And really she is slightly embarrassed about it.  “I can’t swim and I’m scared of water.” Clarke mumbles more to herself than to Lexa, but the girl picks it up anyway.

“Why are you scared, Clarke?” Lexa rests a hand on the other girls thigh causing her to look up.  Clarke doesn’t expect what she sees.  She sees the Lexa is genuinely curious, there isn’t a hint of amusement in Lexa’s eyes, just curiosity and worry.

“I nearly drowned as a kid, I guess I’ve been scared ever since.” She shrugs, she hates that she’s so scared, she always feels like she missing out.  She sees all her friends in the water, having fun and she jealous, but she just can’t bring herself to get in the water.

Finn used to help her.  Take her in the water and never let go.  Bellamy tried to do that after he was gone, but it wasn’t the same.  She just panicked.

Lexa nods her head before climbing on to the dock.  The blonde just looks at her.  “Do you trust me Clarke?”

Clarke isn’t sure how to answer the question, but after a few moments she nods.  She can’t believe it herself but she does trust Lexa, even though she’s only known the girl a few weeks.

Lexa smiles before pulling Clarke up with her.  They walk to the shallowest end and sit on the edge.  Lexa slides in, as Clarke just sits there watching her.  “You don’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, but I want you to climb in.”  She stands in front of Clarke.  “You can trust me on this.

It takes Clarke all she has, everything is screaming at her to stop, that something bad will happen if she gets in, but she looks into Lexa’s eyes.  There is something warm about them, something that tells her that nothing is going to happen.  Its all in her head.  So with a deep breath, Clarke slowly slides in, and Lexa grabs her hand as soon as she’s waist deep in the water.

Lexa can see the panic in Clarke’s eyes, and she squeezes Clarke’s hand gently, trying to reassure her.  “Clarke, you are fine.  I will not let go.”

Clarke nods slight, and lets herself be lead deeper into the water, they are at least chest deep before she stops them.  Lexa just nods, never once letting go of Clarke’s hands.

They’re brought back to reality by the cheers and ‘woops’ coming from their group of friends.  Clarke looks over and smiles, she actually can’t believe she’s in here.

 

\----

 

They spend the rest of the day in the shallowest bit, Lexa making it a goal for herself to teach Clarke how to swim, though she isn’t too sure why she wants to do this.

The sun is setting when they decide to leave, all going back to Octavia’s and Bellamy’s house, knowing that they’re mother won’t be in.

They decide on movies and are half way through the third one when Clarke notices that everyone but her and Lexa are asleep.  She smiles and pauses the movie causing Lexa to look up at her, Lexa’s head being in Clarke’s lap.

“Everyone is asleep.” Clarke whispers, and sure enough, when Lexa looks around, everyone is.  Lexa’s eyes rest on Raven and Octavia, she thinks it kind of cute.  Raven laying with her back against Octavia’s chest, who has her arms wrapped around the other girl.  She’d question whatever is going on between them if Octavia didn’t have a boyfriend back at college.

“Hey,” Lexa is brought out of her thoughts by the sound of Clarke voice, she looks up.  “I just wanted to say thank you.” Lexa realises she must look confused because Clarke begins to elaborate.  “For taking me in the water,” She take a breath.  “I haven’t been in since Finn, who is my ex, and yeah, just thanks.”

Lexa notices that Clarke breathing becomes uneven, but she has no idea why or what to do.  So she does the only thing that comes to mind.  She sits up and pulls the blonde into her arms.  After a while she feels Clarke breathing start to even out, she’s fallen asleep.  Fallen asleep in Lexa’s arms, and for some reason, this is the happiest Lexa has felt in a long time.


End file.
